Saturday, February 28, 2009

Question of the Day #115

I'm reading a hilarious collection of essays called The Last Single Woman in America by Cindy Guidry. More hilarious because she's single in LA, which if you're not here, you don't know what a freakish place this is. Guys will wave their Bentleys at you, inquire who your agent is and poke to find out "who you know," and suddenly the date you think you're on dissolves into a portrait of a dude on a soapbox vomiting out words about how he's the coolest man who ever walked Sunset Boulevard.

Anyway, I just read this line and it stung, "Vulnerability is terrifying. It's much easier to be admired from afar than to let someone get close and actually see me."

And at 7:00 AM on a Saturday, I'm suddenly ridiculously introspective. I think about past relationships where I've settled for less rather than admit I need more. I remember moments when I should have exploded in tears and instead, took a deep breath, threw my shoulders back and smiled.

I'm aware and I'm working on it. But vulnerability is terrifying to me. (It's terrifying to even type about it.) What's terrifying to you?

xoxo,
Suzanne

10 comments:

  1. Yesterday on Oprah, comedian Steve Harvey's book was discussed (Act Like a Lady; Think Like a Man) and he kept repeating that women today have "lowered the bar" too much, something I totally agree with. I'm terrified that women (of all ages) will continue to lower their standards and will never learn true independence. Don't settle, especially out of a feeling of desperation!

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  2. Good question.

    I think it is social attention for me. I'm kind of used to being like Mr. Invisible from Chicago, and I'm really shy. Being called out in public often makes me cry out for that big hole in the ground to swallow me up.

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  3. This is a great question. I think the most terrifying thing for me is something bad happening to my kids. Hell, I can barely handle it when they have the flu.

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  4. Hi Suzanne,
    I'm also a YA writer and would love to talk privately with you.:) I like your writing very much and enjoyed reading this blog.

    The most terrifying thing for me is taking the envelope with the cover letter and manuscript inside and putting it into the mail. It's that moment just before I let it go.

    Of course, I agree with Rena that anything happening to my kids or husband is terrifying too. I've faced something happening to my husband, but....

    Come see my blog:

    http://barbaraehrentreu.blogspot.com

    Barbara

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  5. I agree with Rena and Kelly. I couldn't bare if anything bad happened to my family.

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  6. Without a doubt,anything happening to my daughter or anyone else in my family is most terrifying to me. However, the thought of allowing someone new into my life and "sharing my story" also stirs up feelings of dread.

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  7. The most terrifying thing to me would be to never get married and have children, it's all I've ever wanted.

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  8. I think being incapacitated frommental or physical illness is very terrifying to me.

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  9. Thank you all for answering. I know it's not easy to discuss things that scare us.

    Lionmother, your comment about putting the manuscript in the mail is so accurate. Although, I'm more afraid when the envelope/email comes back. Sometimes I put off opening it because I'm so afraid of the letdown.

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