Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Question of the Day #69

My friend, P, once set me up with his friend. I met P, his girlfriend and my blind date outside a comedy club. I knew immediately that I would never be able to make out with the guy. (Crazy barometer, but it works. If there's absolutely no shot, I always know within two seconds.) So we stood in line and attempted awkward small talk.

My date mumbled a reply to some mundane question I asked, like, "What do you do?" When I spotted an ex-boyfriend of mine approaching with a gorgeous girl.

He looked superhot, as usual. Definitely kissable.

I started to shake. The ex and his supermodel came closer. As I tried to shrivel into the wall, the ex called my name and then hugged me. He introduced his girlfriend. I introduced my unkissable date and could not utter another word.

Then the girlfriend squealed, "Oh my god! You guys are on a blind date!"

My stomach lurched. I almost hurled on her Manolos. I probably should have.

The line began to move. I death marched into the club. We sat on the opposite side of the theater. I don't remember anything about the show except running out of there afterwards.

What was the worst run-in you've ever had?



  1. Way back when I used to imbibe - frequently - I had a conversation with this one woman. The next day, I thought about that talk and realized I only remembered bits and pieces. My alcoholic blackouts tended to be sporadic. The last bit I remembered was me telling her I loved her. She, being involved with someone else, said 'Thank you'.

    I remember the moment of clarity when I understood what I was really feeling and it wasn't romantic love. Then my memory ended. I don't know what went on during the rest of that conversation.

    Fast forward a bit and this time, I'm sober. She lets me know she's single and gives me a 'significant look'. No idea if it related to that earlier conversation. No idea what I was supposed to say. No idea if she expected me to sweep her up in my arms - which I had no desire to do. Very awkward for me. No idea what was in her head either as I was so deeply entrenched in mine.

  2. "...My stomach lurched. I almost hurled on her Manolos. I probably should have...."


    My last-recent ex works as a surgical tech at the only hospital in town...last March I had a kidney stone (ow.) attack on Saturday night, and the surgeon who does kidney stones wasn't in until the following THURSDAY. So they gave me pain meds in the meantime. When I did meet with the surgeon, he explained the procedure and asked, "Well, do you have any questions?" I said, "This is a long-shot, but my EX is a surgical tech, and I'm wondering if he ever helps you in the OR." The surgeon sez "what's his name?" and I said, "EX". "Oh, sure, sure, EX assists me all the time." I nearly fainted before he said, "...but never for this sort of procedure."
    * : )
    close call, huh.

  3. My husband and I went to a party last year and some guy I dated from college (we dated only 6 weeks or so so not a serious boyfriend) was there (the party was held at a guy from the same college). The host introduced my hubby and I to the guy I dated and he shook my hand like he had never met me before. My hubby smirked later and said, "He acted like he didn't know you!" I knew he did! So later I confronted him and said, "I'm Kelly!" He acted cool and said, "Yeah, I know!" Arrogant jerk! :0)

  4. Each and every time. Because each and every time I stutter like an idiot! It's that old-school bad self-esteem... it comes a flooding!!

  5. What a foul way to meet an ex again!

    My "Dream Island Job" was posted online and I found it at bbc.com--I know--is it awesome or what?

    My most recent bad run in was with my mother--when she discovered we'd secretly brought my mother-in-law to Disney World with us--and probably guessed (quite accurately) that we footed her bill. Death rays from her eyes stunned me--I wanted to kick the kid who let it slip to her!

  6. I brought my husband and kids to an old friend's housewarming party, not knowing an ex of mine (although I met him through her, so I kinda shoulda figured) would be there, with his wife and kids. Upon being introduced to his wife, it turned out that her name rhymed with mine, so I said, "That's easy to remember!" because I'm usually so terrible with names. My friend and my ex stared at me for a second, then busted up laughing, at which point I had to clarify, "I meant for me!"


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