"The world's going to end anyway, right? In 2012. That's what they say," said N from the cubicle next to me.
"Do you really believe that?" I asked.
"I'm ready. I got my bag packed!" he said and slugged some more coffee. I think it was cup number four.
"If the world was ending, why would you pack a bag? I mean wouldn't we just dissolve into ether?" I asked.
"I'm talking about survival stuff. Canned foods, weapons, tools. Stuff like that. Other people would be like, 'I'd pack pictures, keepsakes' and dumb stuff like that."
"You know, I write a blog and every day I ask a question. Maybe I could make a question out of that," I said. "Although it doesn't really make sense, if we're all gonna die it doesn't matter what's in the bag."
"Here's a question," N's head popped up over the side of the cubicle. "If you were in a plane crash in the middle of nowhere, would you eat the other people to survive?"
"Um, I don't know if my readers are that kind of crowd," I said.
"Not ready for cannibalism?" He asked.
"No. Probably not." I laughed.
He sank back into his chair and began typing on his keyboard. I began to type too.
"How about, 'should marijuana be legal?'" He said a couple minutes later.
"I try to stay away from politics," I said. "But I have to ask, if your plane crashed and you were stranded in the middle of nowhere, would you eat people?"
"Of course. I'd pick out the ones who were the least likely to survive and eat them."
"Nice."
"Seriously, if it was about survival, you would too."
Maybe he had a point there, but preying on the weak seemed a little heartless.
"Okay, what if you and your girlfriend..."
"I'd eat her." He said before I could finish the question.
I erupted laughing and put my head down on the keyboard.
"Must be true love," I said. "By the way, I'm never getting on a plane with you."
What do you talk about when you need to put a giggle in your work day?
xoxo,
Suzanne
The same kind of stuff, to be honest. I don't know about preying on the week, though. Maybe if they had already died, then it might be an option to stay alive. I don't know if I could kill another human to stay alive. My life isn't anymore important than theirs.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Suzanne!
UGH -- that should say "weak", not "week". It's been a LONG week!
ReplyDeleteYou work with Dwight Schrute? I had no idea!
ReplyDeleteJust pure utter silliness.
ReplyDeleteWell, when I had a job, I have to admit, that 5 to 7 females gathered in a workroom, usually, came up when the
ReplyDeletec r a z i e s t! stuff! OMG!
BUT I don't remember a survival discussion.
Holy cow, That would have beeen really interesting.
btw
(keep away from this guy. l.y.m.)
My colleague L and I, dream up much needed and sometimes crass emoticons, create song titles, and t-shirts. We also sometimes laugh amongst ourselves at some of the general stupidity that can be called work. Crazy websites amuse too. She's my lifeline some days.
ReplyDelete(please listen to y.m.)
Usually we talk about various exciting episodes from my life, and somehow everyone ends up in stitches. I am not convinced that this is the desired outcome, but at least it keep folks entertained.
ReplyDeleteOh, sometimes we talk about shoes, but that's mostly because I like to show mine off.
Mike and I have talked about the plane - and I already told him I'm taking a big chunk of meat out of his bum. He said "ok, just please make sure I'm dead first."
ReplyDeleteWatch the movie "Alive" Suzanne - you would eat people too. :)
I sit next to a very intense, moody person at work. When she's even the slightest bit angry, the air in the room changes. To deflect the negativity, another co-worker (who sits directly behind me) and I constantly e-mail hilariously sarcastic comments to each other all day long.
ReplyDelete...um no, I don't think I could eat anyone to survive.